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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Nervous ; 4:22 AM

OMG.
This is the day I've been waiting for the past two monts.
UPSR results will be announced throughtout the nation tomorrow around 12pm.

Oh gosh, I'm feeling really insecured now. I can't guarantee my chances of achieiving straight A's.
I have got high desirations on myself. And so do people around me.
I must score no less then 7A's. Else it'll surely dissapoint everyone - mostly myself.

My burden is turning heavier. My nerves are racking deep down inside.
Tomorrow is the day I have been anticipating and also avoiding. What an inconsistency.
I am dying for tomorrow as I'm really curious about my results. Simultaneously, I'm also trying my best to hide away - because I am afraid that it would end up in a huge frustration.

I remember since the day I began upper high in primary school, teachers started to teach everything concerning UPSR. When I got into Standars 6, it got even worse. I feel like teachers are exaggerating UPSR. Every single thing they did is because of UPSR. Everytime they open their mouts and speak out, it would be something about UPSR. Like what questions are most likely to be in UPSR, what kind of method should we use when solving questions in UPSR, what the average difficulty for UPSR is, what should we do when facing certain type of question in UPSR... bla, bla, bla........ Everything is surely related to UPSR! And it's driving me nuts! There are even motivation speeches about UPSR and speech especially made to analyse the past year questions. Sometimes it could be pretty useful to me, as it stimualtes me to work harder for UPSR. However, it also gains my worries for UPSR. It made me felt pressured and stressed.

I worked hard for UPSR. Everytime there is something I do not understand, I would find a way to solve it, no matter what it takes, I need the right solution. I would search informations from dictionaries and books, and I would even memorize everything in the textbook just to ensure that I know the must-knows in the Standard 6 syllabus. Although I seemed as if I do not care on the outside, trust me, on the inside it's way to the opposite of what it is on the surface.
When UPSR is slowly approaching, I was totally freaked out. Everytime I thought of how teachers described UPSR, my nerves will start to rack, although it's obviously that they are just exaggerating. You can only understand what it feels like if you've experiences on this type of situation.

Forget about it.
UPSR was already over two months ago. So what can I do to change the history if my results was not satisfying enough? Like I have magic to make deja-vu happen? Impossible. But I'm still feeling anxious now. I hope that my hard works would pay off tomorrow. Wish me and all the Standard 6 students the best of luck!

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Let's see, where should I start this story from? It all began when a girl was brought to the world at a particular time on Match 21st. Just like any of you, my life is made up of happy and sad moments. There's really nothing so special about my life, but that doesn't necessarily make me ordinary. I don't think that there are any words that can be used to describe me. Maybe extraordinary is the closest one? Hah. Believe me, I'll marry Philipp Lahm one day. You'll see. Don't you think that love stories involving a character from the military are so interesting? They're so touching, I always end up having my face flooded with tears after reading it. Shopping is such an incredible feeling. But being victorious is the best feeling ever. I love NewYorkCity, the street lights there are so fascinating! I like extravagant things, the more, the bigger, the BETTER. I do things randomly, and yes, I admit that I can be too outspoken sometimes that the words coming out from my mouth seem to hurt people around me. I just couldn't help it. I'm born to be like that :P

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